Exercises for 4.6.10

Exercise 30: A Verbal Dance, Not Quite a Fight

“I didn’t sleep barely at all last night. Woke up with the biggest headache.”

She doesn’t want to ask, but she does anyway. “Oh? Why’s that?”

“This thing with Mom. I just can’t believe she would do that,” he said. She grimaces on the other end of the line, knowing he is on the verge of complaining ad nauseum.

“Nobody ever listens to me. I can’t even get a thought out before someone is talking over me. And everyone spends so much time baiting me! I can only keep quiet so long before I have to speak my truth,” he begins. She rolls her eyes, the familiar argument washing over her ears like a lot of blah blah blah.

“If it causing you physical pain, Michael, perhaps it is time to make the peace. Be the change you want to see in the family. You feel like no one listens, listen to them. You feel like no one respects you, make a point of respecting them. Make a change. Call her and make the peace,” she said. Her advice fell on deaf ears as Michael continued on.

“The way she spoke to me … she called me cowardly, manipulative, weak. I would never—NEVER—speak like that to my daughter. NEVER,” he continued.
“But Mike, you can’t compare that. Shannon is four. You are forty. You have no idea how you would speak to her then. It’s a little more complicated when you are grown up and—” she said.

“I am livid. I am furious. I am just so mad! She will never do that to me again,” he said. She rolled her eyes again, thankful that he could not see her

“Just call her,” she said. “Make the peace.”

“I can’t. If I call her now, I will say horrible things I regret,” he replied.

“Or, you could … not do that,” she said, unable to hide her sarcasm completely. He grew silent on the other end of the wire. She felt her breath hitch for a moment, wondering if she had gone too far and if she was the next target of his tiresome rage.

“Whatever. She’s in Chicago anyway, so I can’t talk to her now. Thanks for the advice.” She let the tension drop out of her shoulders, thankful for having averted an attack.

“Yeah. Later, then.”

“Later.”

Exercise 26: Speech Flavor

1. “It is more better if you go now. I would not wish for us to learn more about the other only to end up very disappointed again,” said Olga.

2. “Why you ain’t looking at her?” she said. “She the one you need to axe about where she was last night and who she be seeing.”

3. “It rarely appears to be as simple as one expects,” he said, looking down at Cleo. “It is most effective to wait until the story itself has unfolded, then begin
making assertions.”

4. “Listen, fuckwad, I have met a thousand of you assholes before, only the rest of them were better looking and didn’t wear such cheap shoes. Now, you can either move your ass to the back of the line, or you can piss off and get your goddamn latte elsewhere. What’s it gonna be?”

5. “I spect we are gonna go see Junie tomorrow,” she said, moving toward the carport with slow, shuffling steps. “It’s been a long damn time since that girl’s been home here where she belongs.”

Exercise 35: The Need to Know

Kyle slowed the car in front of Annie’s where he got his coffee every morning. His mind was mercifully blank, teased only by a hint of coffee-smell. His hand drifted the barest amount to his left, his wheel scraped the curb and the resulting crunch set off the explosion of memories and assumptions he tried so desperately to never let in.

The car shadowed her for a mile or two before pulling up right behind her. The driver must have gotten her attention. Was he asking for directions? Claiming a lost dog? Telling her she looked good, baby? Or did he stop the car and approach her on foot, silently? She felt a prickling on her neck moments before, hinting at the significance of that moment, even if she did not understand it right then. He grabbed her somehow then. The bruises on her arms signified that he wasn’t gentle, and she didn’t come easy. Her nails were full of skin because my baby was a fighter. Didn’t matter, though, because from there he took her away from herself and everyone else. From me. I never knew how deeply I felt for Penelope until I saw her broken and bruised body, her torn flesh, the bruises that screamed brutality. Her face was swollen and broken. I liked to think that he did that to her because she called him a coward, a real tough-guy for beating up on women, not because she was cringing in fear and he did it anyway. Though the images of Penny’s body, naked and violated, lying half off the bike path in the black-eyed Susans torture me daily, it comforts me greatly to imagine she laughed at him, berated him, mocked him and taunted him as he was hurting her. I like to think of Penny as a victim of her mouth, not as simply a victim of circumstance or random evil.

Exercise 37: Five Years From Now …

Beginning: Five years from now, I will be out of the school room and taking the ton by storm. I will have all the most fashionable gowns; combs for my hair; jewels made from jewels, not from paste; many suitors; and of course, Edward on my arm, dancing attendance on my every word. I will dance every waltz with a man of my choice who is not ancient (under the age of five-and-twenty). Life will be a dream.

End: Five years from now, I will be married to Edward, Viscount Lake. Though there was a time when I had buried my love for him so deep and twisted it into an unrecognizable shape, that love has prevailed nonetheless. I awake each morning in his arms, well loved and well rested. I believe I may be carrying his babe, but it is too soon to know. Edward and I will be blissfully happy with as many children as God blessed upon us. I will live in joy, knowing that I am my beloved’s, and my beloved is mine.

Exercise 38: The Power of “Seemed” and “Probably”

“So, are you going to eat that,” I asked, eyeing the last slice of pepperoni pizza cooling on the edge of the box.

“No,” she replied. “Enjoy it yourself.” Her eyes lingered on his as she spoke and beyond. They narrowed slightly when he reached out and took the slice without even pausing.

She’s probably thinking I ought to have been the bigger gentleman and given her the last slice. Ha! For the first time in my life I am not a small guy, I am a strong one. I don’t want people to see me this way. If I need to hog a little food to get respect, so be it. I don’t care if she is hiding it well, but I can feel her contempt burning into my back. No matter. She will probably get over it.